Despite being in the chasm of despair I remember a visit from a friend shortly after losing my daughter in a car accident. She obviously wanted to lend support but had little experience in consoling those in grief. She said “I don’t know how you continue on… if it was me I would have killed myself.” Although to that point the words of others were just meaningless chatter to be ignored, I recall the impact of such a statement. Now, on top of the incessant horror I was feeling, I was supposed to feel guilty for being alive?
The fact is that I did wish to no longer exist as I saw no possibility of relief, and being able to change the situation was impossible. The life I once knew was forever gone, and I was not sure that I wanted to navigate the new life that was thrust upon me. I remained this way for several years, trying various support groups and therapists, but nothing seemed to do anything in easing my pain. However, there came a time when I decided to start living my life with meaning and purpose. I credit this renewal to two pivotal factors. Firstly, I started to explore the scientific evidence for life after physical death, and the more I learned the more I wanted to know. At the same time that I was researching, devouring books, and engaging with scientists, I started to have experiences that I could not explain. Such experiences fall under the general heading of after death communications and defy logic and physical explanations.
I understand that many people dismiss such things. Religious dogma, cultural influences and mainstream science are powerful and people are set in their beliefs. I know because I was such a person. However, the evidence became so overwhelming that I eventually had no choice but to relent. It wasn’t wishful thinking due to my grief…it was the only logical conclusion. The ancients knew this, and the mystical traditions persisted for tens of thousands of years. Recent discoveries are showing that the founders of what is today organized religion came out of these cultures and beliefs. Today’s scientists are discovering what we once knew, as they investigate near death experiences, end of life visions, mediumship, reincarnation, telepathy, intuition and a host of other disciplines that show that we are more than our physical bodies.
The power bestowed to the bereaved that become aware of this is the positive effects it can have on grief. Many mental health professionals today are integrating survival phenomena into their practices as they are moving away from the separation protocol that urges one to “get on with their life.” Instead, they encourage one to maintain a non-physical relationship with their deceased loved ones. After all, what could possibly be more comforting to someone bereaved than the belief that their loved one still exists in some form?
In 2004 I co-founded Forever Family Foundation, a global not for profit organization that educates the public about survival evidence and supports the bereaved. We have made a difference in helping those who grieve the loss of a loved one, which is the reason that I live today as a productive member of the universe. It’s the only thing that truly matters
I, too, am going through the same cycle you went through. I am continuously searching abed researching in order to make sense of what seems senseless (the painful death of my loved one—just mine is a dog). Most people will not understand my love and devotion to a dog born with a birth defect—-most would not adopt and try to care for medically. But I saw him as my son. God told me that suicide is not the answer. But I continue to struggle each day. I’m the sole caregiver to an abusive father and mentally challenged mother who enables him. To make matters worse he never showed me any love or affection. The result, me seeking it outside and…